Narcissistically Abused? 7 Self Care Tips For Healing

Being in a relationship with a narcissist, you end up spending most of your time trying to make your narcissistic partner happy and make them feel good, exceptional and loved. 

Here is the video which explains everything – 7 Self Love Tips Healing from narcissistic abuse. The written content is below the video.

But what we didn’t do was spend little to no time caring for ourselves. So the chances are high that the narcissist targeted us is because we did not love ourselves, and they zoned in on us. They can spot someone who does not love themselves, and in fact, they look for those who don’t.

Here are seven things that helped me on my journey to learn to

create self-love within me and see that I would never need love outside myself to feel my value and worth.   

You begin to feel better, and you are getting yourself and your life on track. 

You are no longer a magnet for a narcissist because you no longer require outside validation.

Number one: Living life in the Now.

Imagine having control of our monkey mind and not worrying and fretting about everything because we keep our focus on the NOW. In our relationship with our narcissistic partner, we spent so much time focused on their needs and wants. 

Living in the present moment means no longer worrying about what happened in the past and not fearing what will happen in the future. Instead, it means enjoying what’s happening now and living for today.

When I began to live in the present, I experienced how powerful it is. I began to experience calm, peace, and joy. 

Number two: Something many of us have a problem with is saying no and setting boundaries.

We are often wanting others’ approval and are afraid of rejection, so we say yes to things we do not want to do. 

Learning to say no comes with seeing how this is self-love. I love myself enough to realize it is good to say no and set boundaries for myself. 

Number three: Take good care of yourself. 

Meaning eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, doing things you love doing, connect with Source, spend time with people who support you and love you, and limit the time you spend with people who are on a negative frequency. 

Number four: Forgive yourself. 

We often blame ourselves for being with a narcissist and making our choices, like staying with them for a long time or feeling we didn’t stand up for ourselves. However, being angry with yourself lets you down in a big way and clearly shows your lack of love for yourself. 

It also keeps you in the past and will not allow you to grow or move forward. Something that may help is to start by looking at things you did during the day that you accomplished instead of the few things that did not work out. 

Being kind and loving to yourself will show others how they need to treat you. 

Number Five: Making Time for yourself.

I mentioned this before, but this one is super important. Make time for yourself to do things you love to do. We often do all the things others want us to do, and we do what we love last, if ever.

Unfortunately, if we’ve been in emotionally manipulative relationships, it’s easy for us to lose our love for our passions. This turning from our desires is because we’ve been conditioned with constant criticism and badgering. 

Affirmations have helped me with this one. 

 “I love myself.” “I love myself enough to do things I love doing.”

Number six: Letting go of the past.

Self-love is not easy, but it does get easier. In reality, there is no past. There is only NOW. 

Suppose we’re repeating this negative story repeatedly and we’re fuelling or generating emotions like fear, resentment, regret, and pain in ourselves. In that case, we’re keeping ourselves in a lower emotional state of mind- on a low consciousness. 

We’re never going to move forward if we continue to allow our minds to focus on the past. Letting go of the past is part of what helps us release those blocks that keep us from moving forward.

Learning to view the past from an observer’s place, as neutral a view as possible without the emotional anguish, so recognize it and validate it but then focus on how far you have come.

Look at the things you’ve accomplished since you were in the relationship with your narcissistic partner, and it automatically helps you raise your emotional state of mind. 

So looking at the past, you’re looking at what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come. So, again, focusing on how well you have done and not on your difficulties. 

It helps you shift out of those negative states into a higher state of mind where you feel good. 

Number Seven: Intuition

This last self-care tip is vital to everyone, especially those in toxic relationships or still are. 

Looking back on my situation with my ex narcissistic partner, I can say that one of the critical missing components that I was missing was I had lost my connection to Source. 

I no longer was listening to my Higher Self, and this in itself was a huge reason I ended up with this abusive partner and stayed with him as long as I did.  

It is essential to find the time to connect with Source regularly, which means we never need anything or anyone outside ourselves to help us with our problems or find the answers we seek. 

I do this by meditation specifically, but you can use prayer or walk in nature or anything you know works for you. 

So, how many of these are you actively doing in your life now? I would love to know in the comments section below. 

Self Love is so important for us all. It may seem like it is not but I tell you that when you begin to love yourself and these simple tips are a good start to help you, you will change so much inside and then your entire life will begin to change for the good.

I hope you find these tips helpful and try some or all of them in your life. I did and it changed my life.

Take care and much love to you

Debbi