Why You May Be A Magnet For Abuse

 The effects of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse are long-lasting and often devastating. We are inclined to repeat our experiences, once abused. If you were sexually abused as a child, it’s not uncommon to be abused again as a teenager or adult. I have worked with clients who were abused as children and then marry abusive people. We attract circumstances and situations on an unconscious level, that mirror back to us our original wound, so we can focus on it and heal it.

Although it may feel uncomfortable, identifying the trauma and abuse is the first step toward healing from this past trauma and abuse. Acknowledging that you were or are being abused is so important to start your healing.

Healing from Abuse

The question that most people who have been abused ask is ” can I heal from the abuse and trauma I suffered? ” and the next question is “How can I heal from abuse?” I have helped many people heal from their past trauma and abuse by releasing trapped energies that are held in their bodies and beings. Your anguish can become so great that you hide from true healing because the pain feels too much to bear. But acknowledging what happened and releasing yourself from the pain is how you can set yourself free. This does not mean you would need to go over what happened to you. With energy healing, it means you can work with me and I will help you heal permanently. The scars may be deep and much harder to see or feel but I know that releasing them and removing them will permanently heal you so you can not only be in touch with your true self but BE YOUR BEST VERSION.

Prevalence of Sexual Abuse

Billy Childish

“My childhood ended around the time of my ninth birthday, shamed into sex, obedience, and fear.”
― Billy Childish, 

When we look at the number of children who are abused, it is appalling. When you are the victim of abuse, however, it feels like you are all alone. Unfortunately, there are millions of others just like you, struggling with the same emotions and experiences. The following austere statistics show us the prevalence of sexual abuse in the United States:

  • One in three girls and one in five boys are abused sexually before the age of 18
  • 30-40% of victims are abused by someone in their family.
  • 50% are abused by a family friend or acquaintance.
  • 10% are abused by strangers.
  • Over 20% of all children are abused before they reach age 8.
  • 80% of children who suffer abuse deny it
  • 75% accidentally disclose, and out of those, 20% later recant out of fear.
  • Only 0.5% falsely accuse.
  • About 39 million people in the United States are survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
  • 30% of victims never tell anyone of their experiences.

*Statistics compiled by the Darkness to Light organization

Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse suffer alone and never get the help they need.

Embarrassment, guilt, and shame are often the reasons, they never tell anyone about their abuse. It becomes a secret that burdens them long after the abuse has physically ended. But it feels like it has never ended however, be assured that there is a clear path out of the darkness.

It begins by identifying and acknowledging what has happened to you. I have helped many adults who have suffered childhood sexual abuse to figure out this first step. Have a look at my HEALING RESOURCES section which has 8 Steps to Heal From Toxic Relationships and there is a FREE Healing EBOOK in my HEALING RESOURCE section that will give you a detailed version of steps you can take to Heal From Toxic Relationships.

It is important for victims of any type of abuse to break away and to acknowledge what has happened. If you do nothing, then you run the risk of suffering from flashbacks, anxiety, depression, and PTSD as well as possibly perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

How does this work to continue the cycle of abuse?

It can take shape as an episodic chain (episodic means that the cycle of abuse occurs between at least two members of the family) or generational chain of abuse. The cycle, if not actively broken, will continue, putting everyone in the family at risk for emotional, mental, and physical harm.

The generational cycle of abuse is when abusive behavior is passed on from one generation to the next. For instance, if a child sees his parent being verbally abusive with the other parent, he may grow up to do the same to his partner, or he may grow up to become involved in relationships in which he is abused.

Child abuse is like a virus.

It attacks the host organism and alters it physically. It self-replicates. “Infection” creates a downward spiral through generations, each victim more likely to infect more and more victims. Children who survive abuse to adulthood have a higher chance of abusing their own children however this chain stops when you heal from your past trauma and abuse.

Breaking the abuse cycle can be difficult, but it is very important.

Healing from Abuse

How do you heal from abuse? How do you put your body, heart, and soul back together?

First, you need to be out of the situation that has hurt you. It is not possible to heal when you are still being harmed, whether physically, emotionally, or sexually. For instance, if you are in a relationship in which your partner is abusing you, you will not be able to move on if the conditions remain the same. Nor is it possible for children to recover when they regularly see their father beating their mother. Leaving a relationship is difficult; perhaps more difficult, in many ways, than staying. But it is essential to your well-being.

If you are an adult survivor of child abuse, you need to be in the right mental space to begin your healing. This means even if you feel unsure or scared just know that you have reached the place that you realize you can’t live with the pain any longer.

This does not mean, however, that you need to relive any trauma. The effects of the trauma can be cleared from you with my help without recalling any trauma details. Many times, survivors have turned to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and have suffered physical ailments from energy blocks within their bodies and beings. You may need to deal with any immediate problems and get help to get them under control then you can start your true healing to free yourself from your pain, fear, abuse, and trauma permanently. Once you are ready to heal I am ready to help you.

Psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy or counseling, can help you discuss what happened to you as well as process it. Your medical care provider can refer you to therapists in your area, or you can find qualified counselors through abuse intervention programs both in your area and online. When looking for a therapist, make sure they are licensed and experienced in the area of abuse. It is important to feel comfortable with the counselor as it won’t help you recover if you are not willing to share your emotions and experiences with your therapist. If you don’t feel at ease or if you feel that your therapist is not engaged and interested in you, that is a perfectly acceptable reason to choose someone else. You deserve to have someone who is the best fit for you to talk to and work with you.

I attended therapy for a year with a very skilled therapist and this helped me, in the beginning, to see that I was in fact in an abusive relationship and how to change my thinking around this with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I did feel better, however, in order for me to heal permanently from the trauma and abuse I sustained due to being in a toxic relationship with a malignant narcissist for many years, I used Energy Healing. This is what healed me completely and permanently.

When your body has been abused, so has your soul and your spirit.

As you address the physical effects of abuse, know that your emotions have been dramatically affected as well. In conjunction with traditional therapies, you may find that complementary forms of energy healing are right for you. These techniques will help your body and mind restore essential and needed balance. Abuse causes imbalances in your chakras, ( energy centers within and just outside our bodies) your meridians( channels of energy that run throughout our bodies energetically) which result in spiritual and bodily discord.

I am a Mental Health Clinician and also have a certification in Energy Healing, It is important to look into the qualifications and methods of any practitioner of energy healing. The internet is a valuable resource, and you can find information on potential energy healers. If possible, take me up on my free 15-minute consultation to discuss what it is I do and if this would be a good fit for you. I work with many people who have suffered from narcissistic abuse from childhood, or even in an adult relationship. I have seen some miraculous changes in those I have worked with. ( see Testimonials).

Seeking professional help is a courageous step in healing the wounds of abuse.

To complement your choice of therapies, there are various things you can do on your own to facilitate healing. Journal writing, in particular, has been shown in study after study to improve the psychological well-being of the writer.

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that writing about past trauma could alleviate physical sufferings such as rheumatoid arthritis and asthma. Clients who wrote about their experiences for at least 20 minutes for three consecutive days showed great improvement in their conditions. It also proves to be advantageous for your mind and soul. While writing about traumatic events can be painful when you first begin, it provides long-term benefits.

The use of exercise, art, yoga, guided imagery, meditation, visualization, and massage may also be helpful in your recovery from abuse and trauma. All of them can help you relax and get your body and mind more receptive to healing, and they will complement the work you are doing in therapy.

An important thing to remember is you are not alone in your recovery from abuse and trauma.

You may have felt ashamed and isolated while going through the experience of abuse, but you are no longer alone. There are millions of others, and there are scores of resources available to you.

Some people find a group therapy setting helpful while others need 1:1 with a therapist. Some find online forums helpful at the beginning of their journey to healing as you are anonymous but later when they have done some healing they turn to in person support groups.

When you cannot sleep at 4 a.m. and are thinking of the past, you can go online and talk with others who are feeling the same way. This can be immensely helpful, and you can also feel good about helping other people along in their journey.

If you are currently in an abusive situation, or if you know someone who is, please get help immediately. Your body’s safety is at stake, and your spirit is in danger. You deserve to live a life free of fear and shame. You deserve a life of truth and healing.

I know that Energy Healing absolutely changed my life for the better after I released the trapped abuse and trauma due to the narcissistic relationship I was in for years.

Contact me if you want to talk about healing and it is a free consultation to speak to me for 15 minutes. If you feel we are a good fit and I can help you heal yourself we can book a session.

Much love to you

Debbi

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