When a narcissist worms himself into your life it is literally like being poisoned.
You feel like you have dark sticky black goo permeating every part of your being while your life force is being sucked out of you. There is also a sensation that feels like white-hot shards of glass running through your veins along with overwhelming anxiety, panic, depression, and brain fog. This is all happening while struggling to believe that you can get back your life and soul.
Getting a narcissist out of your life is more complex than just ending the relationship and saying goodbye. Leaving is also not enough, nor is physical space. Sometimes you can’t even get the space you need, because of sharing custody, or the narcissist living near you. I shared custody for years with my ex narcissistic partner. At one point he bought a house almost directly across the street from the house I had purchased where I moved to another city to get away from him. It took many more years to extract myself from this malignant narcissist permanently. (if you do not know what a malignant narcissist is find out about it on my website here: https://debbianderson.com/what-is-a-malignant-narcissist/
What is crucial to get a narcissist out of your mind, body, and soul is to detox from them, thoroughly from the inside out.
Here are seven ways that you can use to detox from your body, mind, life, and soul.
Number One – Let Go
I know this is easier said than done. but letting go is so important. It is the first step to detox your narcissist partner from your body, mind, soul, and life.
So what does letting go really mean?
It means recognizing that this person can’t stay in your life and is destroying you so you need to detach. Letting go is the ultimate act of loving yourself.
It’s difficult because everything inside you is screaming ” don’t do this.” You want justice and acknowledgment. You want the narcissist to know who they are and what they have done. You want them to be responsible for their actions. You want retribution for the damage that they have done to you.
I understand all of this, and it is completely justifiable. Yet, hanging on brings more poison and toxicity into you and every aspect of your life. It keeps you entangled with the narcissist, while he pulls narcissistic supply from you, keeps you hooked, continues to punish you, and sucks more of your life force as time goes on.
It means you are participating in your demise and it is a losing situation. He does this by dragging you back in with an insult, a comment, an accusation, a victim statement, one of his planned nasty tactics that trigger you, smears you, and cause you pain. You have to say enough.
Enough isn’t spoken out loud as this is counterproductive, especially with a narcissist. It just feeds them additional attention and energy.
Actions mean so much more than words. The word enough means “I will no longer participate with you”. Any acknowledgment, any words, any messages, or any response to the narcissist is a narcissistic supply. It feeds the narcissist the energy and emotional attention that allows them to continue hurting you, which is what they want.
So how do you show them “I will no longer participate with you.”
By doing just that, stop participating with them and then move on with the next steps.
Number Two – Turn Within
It is important to understand that the narcissist is a false source. An empty vessel. If you were or are trying to get love, kindness, understanding, atonement, support, integrity, validation, and humanity from this person, then you know it is impossible. You came up empty because every time you try to get that from them you come up empty and they have to get energy from you as they are truly empty of most emotions except the negative ones.
This is pushing you to the ultimate act of letting go, turning inwards, working with yourself, and returning the power and truth to your soul. Your power will be improved by granting your damaged Inner Self all of these properties, confirmation, atonement, kindness, support, propriety, and humanity.
Initially, this feels horrendous. Because of having suffered the trauma of narcissistic abuse, we feel depressed, anxious, disjointed, and disassociated from ourselves to the point where to be alone with our trauma may feel completely unbearable.
This is important to know, your Inner Self, which is the true essence of yourself is now feeling broken and terrorized. The evidence of this is the highly activated trauma that is erupting within you.
This is your Inner Self screaming out from within for you to show up. Yes, for YOU, no one else but you. Your Inner Self, which includes the emotional combination of unhealed childhood wounds, and repeated adult wounds, wants you to turn inwards with love. With the unconditional love and support that you are looking for desperately from outside of yourself right now.
Please know this is so important – to turn inwards with honesty, and dedication. Repeat this mantra,
“Beloved One I am here for you. I am so sorry that I have tried to get false sources to love and heal you. I love you, I will hold you and help heal you. I promise you that I will never leave again”,
This is when your Inner Self, as traumatized as she is, will start to settle down knowing that you finally showed up.
This is your coming home to yourself, declaring the beginning of your true whole life.
Number Three – Resist The Narcissist’s Evil
There are some distinct obstacles along the way when detoxing yourself from a narcissist. This step is essential. Leaving a narcissist is unlike the usual heartbreak from ending a regular relationship. Many toxic links have been attached to your Inner Self, for the narcissist to extract a narcissistic supply from you.
You need to understand what narcissistic supply is. It doesn’t need to be physical. It doesn’t need to be about the narcissist seeing you in person and getting a feed from you, or even receiving your messages or emails.
Narcissistic supply is parasitical and psychic. If you have pain and fear inside you, that the narcissist has been able to activate, then he is getting a supply from your emotional energy.
This is what narcissists live on, the panic, the fear, and powerlessness of others. It is their food source, as it is for every dark entity who is disconnected from Divine Source.
The narcissist’s evil is initiating the things that trigger you and pull you into being narcissistic supply again. This means you wanting to reconnect, obsess about the narcissist, feel stuck in the brain fog of craving, wondering, ruminating about the ” good times”, or spending hours trying to figure out the narcissist’s behavior and conversations.
Narcissists know your Inner Self intimately. They know what tactics work on you, such as fake apologies, insincere emotions, false accusations, only good memories, appealing to your compassionate side, silent treatment, replacing you, or blocking you, for extended amounts of time. They know the actions that are going to keep you psychically and emotionally hooked to them.
What the narcissist is most likely going to do next? Exactly what’s going to keep you where you are at, in a state of obsession, or emotionally triggering you, of course.
Knowing this will help, because you are clear about what the narcissist is doing to keep you hooked and unable to detox from them. This does help you detox though.
Whatever is triggered is the very thing that you can turn inward to detox within yourself, rather than falling for the evil.
This is a colossal key to your freedom and recovery.
Number Four – Make This All About You
Detoxing from a narcissist is not possible when you are looking outside yourself to try to figure out, get ahead of, or control what the narcissist is or isn’t doing.
Learning about narcissism is a good beginning for you but if you stay stuck in researching narcissists endlessly trying to detox yourself, you will not heal.
There is only one way to effectively detox from a narcissist; by turning inwards to make this very important emotional detox all about meeting your Inner Self and healing yourself.
How to start effectively doing that is to connect with the triggers that have gone off within you emotionally that the narcissist has activated. This is what has kept you trauma bonded and is how the narcissist has been able to energetically attach to you to suck out your life force.
It’s impossible to stop the narcissist from doing this, but you can detox these parts of you so that you are no longer unconsciously holding onto what is keeping you connected. Then it will end.
Taking back your power means letting go of the commentaries of “what happened to me”, ” why did this happen”, and ” how did this happen”, to turn within with self-love, devotion, and the intention to deeply heal. This will prevent your Inner Self from ever going through this again, by saying, “What part of me requires my healing and support to never again be a target or have this happen to me again?”
What you will discover, by healing within, is the narcissist disappears into the background, your trauma symptoms start to melt away, and you will get excited being on a higher frequency. You will increase in power, strength, health, hopefulness, and ability to rebuild in empowered positive ways.
This is inevitable if you make this experience all about healing you, and not about them.
Number Five – Stop Giving Your Power Away
As you go forward into the healing of your Inner Self become aware of where you have been giving your power away.
If you are trying to work out custody and property arrangements with the narcissist, stop trying to help him with his wounds, trying to keep him happy, and make a deal.
Narcissists only take and never give unless it is only in their best interest to do so.
Keep healing and empowering yourself, set this intention, and keep your guard up. Don’t hand over any emotional energy, keep healing any inner wounds that are getting triggered so that you stay centered, clear, and in your power.
You will become aware of just how powerless the narcissist is when they can no longer trigger you and you are holding onto your power.
Do your best to be centered, clear, powerful, and in integrity, heal until you are no longer fearful. This puts you into your most powerful position.
You will learn to love your new boundaries in your life. You will no longer just go along to prevent conflict, which I can attest to does not work, you end up feeling drained from all that walking on eggshell behavior, or as in my case, he figured out what I was doing. He only upped the anty saying ” you are just going along with everything I say and do” then he would make things much worse for me.
This is the time for standing in your truth. Living aligned with your values will dramatically shift your life and Divine Source will support you in healthy ways you can not imagine.
Number Six – Detox Your Life
Narcissists are toxic. We are most vulnerable to them when we are toxic.
Many of us have unhealed, unresolved inner wounds after narcissistic abuse that require healing and detoxification. There are also other aspects of our life that we may not have realized were unhealthy.
Things like addictions to drugs, alcohol, smoking, junk food, social media binging, overworking, shopping, or gambling. Maybe we have been abandoning and avoiding the love, care, and respect for ourselves by indulging in these toxic behaviors that may grant us some relief at the moment but in the end up creating more damage for ourselves later.
We might be used to complaining, judging others, and being moral in the ways that we call out the horrors of the world but if we are continually doing this it affects the inner chemicals of toxicity, which makes us them at risk to toxic people.
In order to heal we need to get to the place of understanding our need to clean up our inner and outer lives in order to be as healthy, whole, and complete as we can. It doesn’t mean that we are going to be perfect because we are humans. Everything is in balance. This means striving towards empowerment, freedom, health, and working with our Inner Self so that we can steer our lives into happy, healthy, and loving waters, safely.
“We will never accept a level of love less than the level that we have for ourselves”.
Eating a clean diet, drinking clean water, doing regular exercise, and dropping draining destructive people are powerful ways to raise the level of our self-love and self-worth, and consciousness.
Number Seven – Empowerment
The continual growth of your Inner Self empowers your life.
Narcissists have lost their connection to their Inner Self and the Divine Source. They are unconscious and believe that their life is someone else’s fault. They refuse to take any personal responsibility. They will not heal their Inner Self, learn from their mistakes or grow.
Narcissists avoid and abandon their inner triggers, fill themselves up with outer attention, and never heal to become whole within themselves.
It is so important for you to work with your Inner Self, devote and commit to yourself to heal. If you do not, this can leave you out on the ledge of unconscious energy where unknowingly you will continue to seek other disintegrated people to try to fulfill yourself. You will be vulnerable to those trying to connect to you and get their supply from you as they are empty inside.
Water does seek its level.
What does this mean? People will seek out and hang around other people they perceive to be comparable to themselves.
We are not bad people. Instead it means that we can not see the truth.
I am the thriving source of my own life experience, and ONLY I have the power to change this by healing.
When you commit to changing and healing yourself, from the inside out, then you are no longer on the unhealthy path where a narcissist can pick you off and feed on you.
Rather, you will be in your body, connected to your Inner Self, showing up authentically and able to flush out narcissists without being afraid of them. You will also have realized that any previous toxic people in your life have no more power over you, no longer getting their power from the unhealed traumas and fears within yourself.
When you know that the narcissist was a healing catalyst, although a very painful and bitter one, in your life. This is between your Divine Source and you, then you can become completely detoxed from narcissists, their web, and their ability to emotionally and energetically insinuate into you and your life.
You are now on a higher energetic frequency, one that is much further ascended than where they are.
If you are still struggling to extract yourself from the emotional and energetic claws of a narcissist, in order to get relief and freedom to begin to live authentically again, I would love to help you.
I welcome your comments below.
Have you been able to detox from the narcissist successfully?
If not, do you still feel emotionally and psychically infiltrated by one?
Can you feel deep inside, that it is possible to break free and live your highest potential?
You may feel afraid and are uncomfortable reaching out to me. I was where you are but in the end, it is very hard to do this alone. I am offering support -a free consultation for 30 minutes and that alone can be the first step to your freedom.
Come read the other blogs, articles, and posts on my site, and find the free resources including my ebook called HEAL. This will help you and is a good starting place but reading alone will not heal you from where you are or from your past.
I say this because I was exactly in this place. I opened my eyes to what narcissistic abuse is and realized I was in a very toxic abusive relationship. I went to a therapist for a year and did some work on myself but it was not until I did the deep inner work that I truly healed. Then I was free.
Take my hand, I am offering you support and help to get started.
What have you got to lose? DM me on Facebook, Instagram or send me an email.
Sending you love