Why Did This Abuse Happen To Me?
I asked myself a thousand times why did this narcissistic abuse happen to me? I have healed from it but there was a time when I thought it was my fault. I did find out how I was vulnerable to my ex narcissistic partner targeting me. This video will explain what happened to me and I did find it helpful to know why and how this happened. If you would like to read the video transcription. please find it below the video.
I asked myself this question so many times. I found the answer to this question lay within me. Because of my vulnerabilities, my narcissistic partner was able to exploit me but knowing this protects me from future abuse.
If I had healthy self-esteem within myself when I first met him, I would not have needed any sort of external validation from him.
I fell for my toxic partner because I felt he connected deeply with me. In fact, it was an almost instant connection, which I discovered later was typical for a narcissist abuser. I thought I had found my soul mate and a person who understood me.
Your reason might be different than mine for falling for the narcissist. Some of the common reasons are :
- You need to be appreciated
- Their good looks validated your own attractiveness
- Their career success was proof of your success
- The attention they gave you made you feel beautiful, needed or interesting (at the start of your relationship)
This narcissistic abuse happened to me because I was susceptible to my partner’s grooming. If I did not require this validation it may not have happened.
Once I conquered my demons I became completely useless to my narcissist partner as narcissists feed on our unhealthy needs, not everyday kindness.
There is another kind of vulnerability which is a good kind like our dreams, life goals, and romantic endeavors that are beautiful and make us human. My experiences with my toxic abusive partner did not change these things.
I realized my passions should never be mistaken for flaws and my empathic nature is in fact not a weakness but for a long time, I questioned this.
I hope you find this of some help on your healing path. You are not alone on it.
Please contact me. I am here to support you. If you are at the place where you are ready to heal completely from your trauma and abuse related to a narcissistic relationship contact me and we can talk about how to do this.
I healed and you can too. Contact me below via DM.
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Much love
Debbi