Why Are There So Few Articles on Healing from Narcissistic Abuse?

Please listen to this video on some information about why I did not find a lot of information and resources on healing from narcissistic abuse when I was trying to heal from abuse I experienced when I was in a relationship with a malignant narcissist. I hope this will be of some help to you whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist or you know something is wrong but can not put your finger on what that is, or if you are out of the relationship and are still reeling from the abuse you suffered.

If you would like to read the video transcription please look below the video.

While I was researching how to help others heal from the abuse they suffered, I discovered that most articles and information on the topic focused on the narcissist, narcissism, and narcissistic abuse.

I thought this was strange until I understood that when survivors of narcissistic abuse read articles about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, that it IS a form of healing after abuse.

However, there are differences in the types of information that is required to heal. What is necessary is to learn about the healing of the core wounds and learning about the narcissistic relationship. This needs to be done with the acknowledgment that they are two different, but equally important, types of healing. They occur at two very different stages in a relationship or post-relationship with a narcissist, and they require different methods of help for the best effectiveness. Now it made sense to me why healing from narcissistic abuse is so different for everyone but in the end, we all get to the same place.

Why Healing After Abuse Articles Are Few and Far Between

Narcissistic abuse is largely cognitive abuse

• Survivors cannot even begin to heal anything about their core selves until they become aware that they are being abused.

• Narcissistic abuse is mostly cognitive in nature, a form of exploitation through mind games. The mind must be healed through an acknowledgment of what has been done, why it was done, and how it was done.
• This knowledge must be gained through reading about it from external sources and also talking with others who are knowledgeable about narcissistic abuse.  

Narcissistic abuse recovery occurs in stages. 

• Even after survivors become aware of the abuse and are able to accept it, they must still break the trauma bond to the narcissist and leave the relationship. Quite often, the trauma bond persists even after the relationship ends.
• People often turn to the internet for answers to understand what they are going through because it is lacking almost everywhere else. We certainly don’t get this knowledge from our relationships or even with our family and friends.
• This information is also part of the critical healing that must take place, as it enables survivors to empower themselves by defining their own version of the abuse, rather than accepting the narcissist’s distortion of events.

Narcissistic abuse is a social problem with a clear and recognizable pattern

What we all eventually come to realize as survivors, is that our abusers have followed a similar pattern of abuse, and each of these narcissistic abusers has all said the same things to us. We have even found ourselves reacting in the same ways.

Finding that information does help us leave the narcissist. It can even help us break our trauma bonds by helping us realize how most of us who have been abused by a narcissist have trauma bonds.

In order to heal, it is an exercise of the mind best accomplished by reading and watching information, which you can find here and other sites over the Internet.

It makes sense that the stage of recovery in which absorbing information is very important and where survivors learn that they have all been abused in very similar ways would make up the majority of what they find to read. 

The process of healing core wounds is individualized.  

When survivors have processed what they went through and learned to let go of the relationship, this is when they are ready to look inward and learn what parts of themselves they need to heal either because they attracted a narcissist or because the narcissist has eroded certain aspects of themselves. Learning what those core wounds are and how we go about healing them is an individual process. Articles on the Internet will be less useful at this stage because, unlike the pattern of abuse that all survivors shared, healing individually is not as universal. There are materials out there, but they aren’t widely shared. This makes sense, as the process of healing core wounds often requires in-depth trauma recovery with a therapist or a more hands-on individualized healing approach. There are many paths that can be taken to recovery.

Lack of awareness leads to a lack of information. 

• There is still a lack of public awareness of what narcissistic abuse is.
• Unfortunately, even many mental health professionals are unaware of how to recognize the symptoms or how to correctly treat someone who has been in this type of relationship. Many of the people, like myself, who write about this topic are survivors who are still healing themselves. They may have little to say yet on how to heal core wounds because they are still in the process of healing themselves.
• This may be a big part of the reason there are few articles about healing from narcissistic abuse and traditional therapies can take many years to heal from narcissistic abuse. I was in CBT for a year before I came to realization that I was even in an abusive relationship and then it took more time to actually leave my narcissistic partner, but I was not healed permanently.
• I did not heal until I did Energy Healing. I can now say I have completely healed from the abuse I suffered for 14 years and more and I have learned to help others heal from their abuse with Energy Healing I do in 1:1, usually remotely. This is a very effective therapy and works like a charm. I am living proof.

Healing After Abuse Alone

There will come a time if it hasn’t already when you will tire of reading about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This will be when you feel the pull to dig deeper and heal in another way.

I recognized when I reached this stage, but it took me years to understand this. Of course, I felt a sense of relief after leaving the abusive relationship, and I didn’t want to spend much time on what I had suffered through, at this stage. I wanted to move on, but I found I could not. The effects of the abuse stayed with me for years.

I didn’t want to think about what I had been through, and I just wanted to be free from the pain. I discovered later that the effects of the abuse remained inside me in an energetic way, trapped within me. Although you can’t see the blocks, the trauma was actually stuck in my being and I felt stuck in many areas of my life. I could not put my finger on what exactly was wrong. Not until I came across Energy Healing did I release the hold that these abusive injuries had on me.

I am healed now.

I have moved forward into a new place where light has come through and replaced the dark. I have released so many chunks of pain and abuse now that I feel like a new person.

Once you turn inward, you will heal as I did. I am actually free and healed from the bonds that held me.

I dedicate my life now, to helping others who have suffered from the effects of a narcissistically abusive relationship.

I am not advocating for a lack of acknowledgment of looking within. It is possible to get stuck and feel unable to move forward. At some point, survivors do need to go forward into whatever that next step is for them once they have passed through the phase of healing that enables them to recognize the abuse and break the trauma bond to the narcissist.

It is important to understand that everyone moves through their recovery at their own pace and on their own path. Wherever you are in your recovery path is where you can start.

Make your own decision and do not let others tell you when or how to move on or how to heal.

Listen to your inner guide.

At the right time, you can move down the path to healing after the abuse you suffered and find the resources that will best help you as you find the strength to do so.

Love

Debbi