Taking Your Power Back After Toxic Relationship
All narcissists need their narcissist supply which they take from others.
They have a constant need for adoration and recognition which is much more difficult for them to obtain during times of stress like the lockdown some of us are still experiencing from COVID-19.
Narcissists don’t do well in lockdown or those stuck with them, and there is a higher chance of an escalation of abuse for some.
Here I will focus on ways to protect yourself in times of intense stress like the recent pandemic and chaos that has been going on in our world and also what you can do to keep yourself safe and stable and start to heal yourself.
Narcissists In Lockdown
The narcissist requires attention from the world so they know they exist.
Once they have hooked you in with their love-bombing, lies, and manipulation and it has gone on for as long as it suits them, they will no longer have any interest in you as their main supply.
That is often because you know who they are and are no longer fawning over them or adoring them and have become disappointed, injured and even disgusted by him.
Since the narcissist needs to get his supply from someone it is difficult for him to get this when his world is limited because of current lockdowns. Either he is going to flaunt the rules when he is trapped inside or this may be worse for you to experience severe control issues from him. But for him to have anyone place any control over him means he will become intensely distressed and disturbed.
This means that the abuse will escalate.
Since he does not care about getting his narcissistic supply from you he will unleash himself on you by attacking you.
Detach Yourself
This is so important if you are trapped by current circumstances.
Now is the time to actively empower yourself so you can not only survive in this situation of unprecedented times of chaos and uncertainty but also so you can cope with being stuck inside with the narcissist.
Narcissists are adept at zoning in on your weak spots and hitting them hard in order to get a reaction. They love the drama as it gives them what they need, their supply, and since their source of supply is limited to you, things may become worse now for you.
Here’s how to help yourself. In order for you to survive this, you will need to be strong and not buy into their drama. If you detach, the narcissist won’t be able to extract any narcissistic supply from you and he will need to find another source.
One of the most important pieces for us and as hard as it may be to do is to focus on yourself and your inner state of well being.
The narcissist will never get it or wake up and love you as you hope.
Our job is not to save the narcissist or fix them or get them to love you. Our job is to turn inwards and heal the parts of ourselves that prevent us from moving on and being whole.
This is a challenging time for you but I guarantee that no matter how things seem, you have a lot to look forward to. Once you get past your attachment and neediness to the narcissist you can then begin your healing. I promise you that then the pain will start dissolving away, and you will step into who you really are-your True Self.
This time of coronavirus is causing us all so much uncertainty and fear. It is painful and scary and you want to receive comfort from your narcissistic partner but of course, he does not care about you, your safety, security, or wholeness. You are merely a tool so he could get his insatiable bottomless fake self fed.
It’s not because you are unlovable or unworthy of love. It’s because this is who he is- a narcissist.
Now that you are locked up with him and feel scared and vulnerable, this is a time when your narcissistic partner will punish you the most.
Or, perhaps the narcissist is using this time to his advantage to get you to hand over more energy, suck out more pieces of your Soul as well as your rights, resources, and property. I look upon them as parasitic.
Keep your eyes open for this.
Most importantly it is now time to take yourself back and not hand any more of yourself and your power over to him.
How Do You Take Your Power Back?
With a narcissist, it is a spiritual war you fighting, not a practical one.
This is literally a battle for your Soul. If you give the narcissist any of your energy, whether that is good or bad, then you are feeding him supply and he will be able to continue to hurt you and suck you dry.
When you take your power back it means that you become unaffected by them. You make it your mission to detach so anything they throw your way does not have any effect on you.
There will be triggers and lots of them.
The narcissist will try his best to get to you in the ways that he always has. Accusations, silent treatment, lying, stonewalling, maybe love-bombing, leaving completely abandoned, or other tools he has in his narcissistic toolbox.
Your narcissistic partner knows exactly how to get to you and how to press all your buttons and turn things back on you.
So here is how you take yourself out of this dramatic soul-sucking game.
Detach and Return To Your Power
Whether you are in self-isolation with a narcissist, or you have been struggling with narcissistic abuse for some time, and you know that there is a wound that is still there that hurts you, you can take back your power.
Make an intention. Decide and repeat it as often as you can.
“I am making this intention that I am taking my power back. No longer do I look at you (the abuser) as my source. Rather, I will now meet and heal what is going on within me. By doing this your energy becomes trivial in my life. You do not have power over me. I am powerful and in control of me. I let you go and release you, from every part of my being. I allow myself to be free to love and heal me.”
What Taking Your Power Back Will Create
This is what you need to know: narcissists only have power in your experience when they are using your wounds against you. When you take back your power by you being responsible for the healing of your wounds, the narcissist becomes completely unnecessary.
They will back off, even if you living in close proximity and leave you alone because they can no longer control your experience.
They will try their best to use their tactics to pull you back in but when you heal yourself from the inside their triggers do not work on you any longer.
So when your narcissistic partner calls you names and you heal that part of you that used to be triggered by this behavior you will be detached and not be affected by him any longer.
Then the narcissist may break down and cry and say he is sorry which is all an act because they are never truly sorry. They will then try another tactic to pull at your heartstrings.
They may threaten you, and when you again heal this part of you from within, you will find you are completely unafraid.
This will go on until you have healed every gap that the narcissist has been purposefully targeting in order to try to get to mine and drain your soul.
Can you imagine how evolved, and impervious to any outside force you become as a result of this?
Can you see how this is so freeing and truly will change you and your life when stuck in self-isolation with a narcissist or when you are not in self- isolation and living your regular life with this abuser?
Does this not excite you?
It may seem hard to see it but I guarantee it works. I was with a malignant narcissist for 14 years and then it took me many more years of dealing with him because I had to. Until one day I stumbled upon the best healing modality ever. I am truthful when I say that it worked to heal me and I know it can help you as well.
I promise you that you can heal.
You are meant for a spectacular life. You are a Powerful Warrior and you are coded with the power of the Divine inside you.
You have everything within you to activate your True Self.
Let me help you my friend. Reach out to me here on the website or here and I we will have a conversation on how:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InnerLibrationHealer/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/innerlibera…
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8LbXBJc4dEGvdZIh3ulCpA?view_as=subscriber
Please take care and love to you
Debbi