What is Negative Self-Talk?
I have found in my life that my thoughts seem to take over my mind. When I paid attention to what I was thinking I found I was telling myself things like I was not worthy, good enough, smart enough, thin enough, young enough, or talented enough. I was saying these things to myself a lot.
Somewhere along in my life my belief systems within me told me I was undeserving of what I wanted. Or even the things I wanted or the experiences I wanted to have would never happen and if they did they will be disappointing.
These negative thoughts, this self-talk affects us in a very powerful way.
If we think something is possible, we’re more likely to make the effort to achieve it. If we think it’s impossible, we won’t make any effort to try.
If we believe we are a good person who deserves to live a life we love, we will create that life. But, if we think we are undeserving or not capable enough, we will sabotage our efforts without even recognizing we are doing this.
Research shows that your thoughts affect your physical body as well. For example, polygraph tests or lie detector tests show how your thoughts directly influence your breathing rate, heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, muscle tension, even how much your hands sweat. These are significant physical reactions to our thoughts.
Effects of Negative Self-Talk
- Anger, fear, anxiety, guilt, regret, and shame are many emotional states you can experience with negative thinking.
- Changes in hormone and biochemistry levels.
- Problems with digestion.
- The muscles in your body become weaker.
- Your stress levels go up.
- Studies show people who think negatively tend to be more depressed and are generally less satisfied with life.
In contrast, when your thoughts are more positive your brain is flooded with endorphins, which help you relax so you are more centered and alert.
Not only that, but positive thinking also increases your experience of pleasure while reducing physical pain. And as a result, you will feel more optimistic, motivated, and confident to do what it takes to reach your goals.
Stop Your Negative Self-Talk
It may seem like an easy feat, but for some people, shifting their negative thoughts to positive ones is easier said than done.
You might have a habit for most of your life, that you may not be even aware of, to see the negative in everything including yourself. You try to justify this negativity by pointing out everything bad that’s happening in the world and saying ” I’m just being realistic.”
But really all you’re doing is mentally sabotaging yourself.
The good news is you are ultimately in control of your thoughts because you are the one creating them.
As the great Louise Hay said ” “It is only a thought … and thoughts can be changed.”
This means you can learn to consciously choose to replace your negative thoughts with more positive ones that will make your life better. Not all negative thoughts are the result of your inner critic run wild.
There are other types of negative thinking, that if you can learn to identify them and counter them, you can create a fulfilling, happier, and more successful life.
What does Negative Self-Talk Look Like and How To Overcome It
Here are five main types of negative thinking so you can recognize them and then replace them with something more positive.
1.” Never or Always” Thinking
This is when you find yourself thinking in terms of never always, every time, nobody everyone, everything, and so on.
For example, thoughts like, “I will never get that job,” or, “Nobody likes me,” or, “I’ll always be poor, no matter what.”
This type of thinking is not only detrimental to your having a happy life, it’s not based in reality. It’s not true that nobody likes you, or that you will always be poor.
Well, that last one might be true if you never do the necessary work to improve your financial picture. But then you’re the one who is creating that situation. Which means that you can change it.
It’s not an absolute given.
2.“Focusing on the Negative” Thinking
This is when you can’t see the good in the world and only focus on the bad.
But the truth is life isn’t all good, just as it isn’t all bad. It’s a combination of both. There is a negative side and a positive side to pretty much everything.
Since you get to choose what you are going to focus on, why not choose to focus on the positive.
I promise you that you will have a much better life including your health if you do.
3.Catastrophizing
This is when you imagine the worst possible outcome in any situation and convince yourself of its inevitability– usually without any real facts to back it up.
So for example, you begin to imagine that you are going to get into a car accident even though you have been driving safely for years or that the world is going to blow up, even when there is no concrete evidence that supports your prediction.
Even though the worst-case scenario rarely ever happens, you act like it’s just a matter of time and you let it dominate your thinking and your actions.
The truth is we never know what the future holds – and history shows that worst-case scenarios seldom come to pass. So why worry about something that hasn’t happened yet, and most likely never will?
You are much better off to simply focus on what is actually happening in the current moment and focus on that.
4.Mind Reading
This type of negative thinking is a sneaky one. This is when you think you know what a person is thinking about you and it is always bad.
Do you ever find yourself having an argument in your head with someone?
You imagine them saying all sorts of terrible things that hurt you, anger you, or frustrate you making you feel ashamed.
You actually have absolutely no idea what that person is thinking, but you tell yourself that you do. This can lead to this false belief negatively impacting your relationships.
I mean there are some people who are psychic but the only way you can ever truly know what someone else is thinking is to ask them and have an honest conversation about it. This leads to developing deeper, more meaningful relationships.
5.Guilt Tripping
Guilt Tripping is when you focus on everything bad you’ve ever done, everything that makes you feel ashamed and guilty, defining your perception of who you are.
You tell yourself you do not deserve happiness and are a bad person and that you will never achieve the success you long for.
And so you give up before you even start. It is sabotaged right there and then.
I’ve seen people waste their entire lives because of their feelings of guilt over something that happened decades ago – they were abused as a child, had an abortion, made unhealthy relationships choices, drank or used drugs to cope, lied about your past, had an affair, or convinced themselves that someone else’s death could have been prevented if they had acted differently.
The thing is, EVERYONE, including me, has done things they regret. These things do not define you. You have also done good things in your life.
If you put your focus on the good things and start to see yourself as a good person who has made some mistakes but is also capable of accomplishing great things, you will open yourself once again to a life of unlimited possibility.
Stop Negative Self-Talk Today
- Start by listening to how you talk to yourself and how you talk to others.
- When you catch yourself thinking a negative, say STOP silently or out loud then consciously change your thought to a more positive one.
This sounds too easy to actually work but I know that it does. It may take a bit of time to use this process frequently as we have been saying negative things to ourselves for many years but the first step to changing the negative self-talk is awareness.
If you consciously then change your thoughts you will begin to see the changes within you and in your life.
I hope this will be of some help to you.
Please leave a comment to me about your thoughts on this. Also, I am on Youtube, Facebook, and Instagram Here:
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Much love
Debbi